W.E.B DuBois once said,
Children learn more from what you are than what you teach
This quote, so simple and understandable, is the kind that reads deeper on further reflection. Our children are ALWAYS watching us, ALWAYS. They see the things we do and the things we don’t do. Hear the kept promises, and the broken ones. Feel the anger we express and absorb the love we share.
Positive Role Model
Children are sponges, soaking in every detail of life and learning the lessons from those that are around them. As parents, we are their first teachers – and in many ways, we will be their most important ones. Not only do we teach them to walk and talk, eat and play, but we also teach them what to be.
But no pressure, right?
Who am I? What am I? I have asked myself these questions countless times over the years. When I was a youth, those questions were poised in self-discovery. Now, as a mother, those questions have a different lens. Who am I to my children? What am I to them?
Often, the answer is: maid, cook, chauffeur, lashing post….. but these are answers of frustration, not fact. And it’s not the right question either.
The question should be, how do my children see me? Or rather, how do I WANT them to see me? My answer? Kind. Patient. Loving.
But am I those things? Am I really a positive role model for my girls? If I want my girls to see me as such and to learn to be kind, patient and loving themselves, then I HAVE to be those things. Am I kind when I speak to them? Not always. Am I patient? Rarely. Am I loving? Well…. I always love, but I do not always react in a loving manner.
One out of three? One and a half out of three? Zero? *sigh* Regardless of the score in this imaginary quiz, I have some studying to do, and my work cut out for me. Because my girls are watching me, learning from me, and I want those lessons to be positive ones.
At least most of the time. Because while I may not always be kind, patient and loving, I am always human.
What are you to your children? How do your children see you? How do you WANT them to see you?
As an information glutton, I (of course) looked up how to be a more positive role model for my kids. Judging the sheer number of posts and links I found, I am far from the first one to ask these questions. If you are asking too, here are a few informative posts I found that might help you become a more positive role model.
- This one from HealthyFamiliesBC ranges from alcohol use to smart decision making.
- The Center for Parenting Education wrote a very similar post, though it goes just a it deeper.
- I have a love/hate relationship with Parents.com, but this gem of an article is spot on.
Part of my own journey to become a better parent and a better role model, also involves Learning to Trust my Children more, maybe yours does too?
Leave me a comment, I would love to talk to you! If you have a blog you want me to check out, link it below – I’ll take a look!
This post must resonate with so many Mom’s out there, I know it does with me! It’s so important to keep this thought at the fore front, we may not be perfect everyday but as long as we positively strive in the direction, that is what will matter to our kids ❤️
“Positively strive in the right direction.” What a great way to put it, thank you!!
Sometimes I feel the pressure, but overall what a gift to be able to teach them they have the world to experience.
Such a good point! It IS a gift… sometimes I have trouble remembering that.
Thanks for the information and additional articles. The journey to be a better parent is never ending. There’s always more to learn, more to do, but most importantly more myself I need to be.
That’s the way I look at it – one more step forward on the journey.
I definitely agree. kids are like sponges. My daughter is 3 and my husband taught her when walking if she wants to pet someones dog that she should ask first. so we were out the other day and my daughter said “my I pet your doggy” the person was so surprised and said thank you for asking.
We do something similar with our girls when it comes to dogs – you never know what a dog will do and it’s only respectful to ask permission of the owner. Love that you do that!